Tomorrow at school John asked me and everyone else to his party but I still not answer yet untill the class is finished. I have been asked everyone no one go to his party only me because they are scared of John and I dicided to go to. In the evening there is a party; he lived in a strange house! which far from everyone else. I was walking and walking by the map which John show me. It's difficult to find. I was walking like an hour to get their. The way to his house is very dirty and smelled like someone was killed. So I started feelling afraid. The house number is 546 but when I'm knocked no one open the door. So I telephoned to my teacher and told me that do not go to John's party.
It's a trap. I started to ran very fast but I saw a boy when I'm got near to him it is John he got a knife with his hand and blood I was very afraid. So I asked him why would you lie me and killed Sarah and now me? Because you and Sarah are best friend and I'm not. He tried to killed me but I'm try to say nice to him but it won't work at all. When he tried to killed I was very lucky that I am OK I was ran downstair but the door is locked! After a few minutes John came back. He putted me one shot of his knife. I think I'm was killed already suddenly a police car come and rescue me and my teacher and my friends also here. John tried to ran from the police but unfortunetly the police were surrounded. There is no way that John can run. He tried run but the police catch him and put him into jail. But I felt I was nearly going to die.
---- After one day I woke up again. I'm so glad that I'm OK. but John not. And now I felt my best friend is only good in the outside but bad in the inside.
Nice story!
ReplyDeleteThanks. But I don't think it's good enough like your story.
ReplyDeleteDon't say it like that, I think your story is very meaningful, and a great idea, if only you correct a bit grammar, I think it'll be just perfect!
ReplyDeletewhat do you mean 'if you ..... grammar'?
ReplyDeleteI also enjoy your story:) but you should read your writing again because I see some mistakes in your writing.
ReplyDeleteNissa
@Firestars: I mean.. if you correct some of the wrong grammars, your writing will be just perfect^^
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ReplyDeleteFor Rainbow I know your you mean now, so thanks again.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your advice I will do it as your you say Nissa.
ReplyDeletePanha, this story has some good suspense (check a dictionary if you don't know that word) so I enjoyed reading it. And the reader enjoying the story is the most important thing by far.
ReplyDeleteRainbow is right- some of the grammar does need correcting- but I thought this was a nice job!
Well done!
Thanks you very much teacher. I will try to do some more right grammar.
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